Forcing myself to have structure.

I feel extremely lucky to have the set-up I have. I can stay home with my kids and make a living writing, which is what I've always dreamed of doing. But, as is so often the case in life, my worst enemy is...myself.

Every evening, I make to-do lists for the following day. I'm a listmaker. There are few things in life that give me more satisfaction than a well-organized list with a line neatly drawn through every item. The problem is, the last few months on more days than not, I move the things on todays list to tommorows list, which means things are not getting done that should get done.

Before little Luke was born in April, I had a great routine. Get up, work out, do a bit of writing and take a shower, all before Logan woke up around ten. Then during Logan's three hour nap in the afternoon, I'd work for another hour or two, then knit until he woke up. Everyone was happy. But having a toddler AND a newborn who don't share the same schedule most days yet has made this routine a distant memory.

The problem is me. I need to focus more on what needs to get done. Forcing myself to start getting up early again will go a long way towards helping with this, as some days NOTHING gets done while the kids are awake.

So I am putting it in writing, here, that tommorow, my will power and motivation need to get back on track. If I want to give my kids the future I dream of, I need to be working harder now.